The following is written by a Snowflakes family.

We are Ben and Steph, and we’ve had an amazing experience with embryo adoption. After dealing with infertility, we looked into EA. We liked the pro-life aspect – rescuing little lives that are frozen in time, waiting just to be given a chance at life. Being pregnant was also a huge plus – forming that bond from the beginning and knowing that we could do our best to provide a healthy, happy 9 months for the baby. But at the core, we chose EA because we knew God was clearly leading us in that direction.

We have definitely faced the fear of disappointment along the way. Each time you do a transfer, you open your heart to the hope of your embryos surviving and being born, of holding a baby (or babies) in your arms. It’s a place of vulnerability known especially by those who have struggled with infertility. Also, what might be considered typical “adoptive parent” fears cropped up – that our child would someday reject us as the “real parents” or that because we adopted multi-ethnic embryos, our child would have just one more layer of questions and potential difficulty with us being the parents. These fears caused us to pause, take time to talk and pray together, and seek God’s reassurance before proceeding. (more…)

Since 1956 readers have been turning to the “Dear Abby” column for answers to life’s questions, concerns and more. Today [January 3, 2012] Abby addresses a concern facing 21st century readers: what should be done with frozen embryos remaining from in vitro fertilization treatments? Deadlocked in New Jersey and her husband are facing this difficult dilemma for two of their remaining embryos. Deadlocked and her husband successfully gave birth to twins via in vitro and then had a third child conceived naturally.

They believe their family is complete, yet morally, Deadlocked believes she should give the embryos ‘the chance [at life] they were meant to have.’
In the face of an economic hardship, Deadlocked’s husband is hesitant to pursue another frozen embryo transfer. This leaves Deadlocked unsure how to ‘do what I believe is right and stand by my religious and moral beliefs’ without causing her husband to resent her.

With more than 612,000 embryos in frozen storage in the U.S., many other families may be facing a similar struggle.

Abby suggests that Deadlocked may want to consider another option: embryo adoption. “Your embryos could be donated for embryo adoption by a couple who have been unable to conceive, and who would love to raise them.”

To read the Dear Abby Column visit Yahoo News. For more information on how to donate remaining embryos visit the Embryo Adoption Awareness Center.

Based on a visit to the CDC with an expert on HIV/AIDS, who also has a strong and personal interest in orphan care, I learned that one of the most striking facts that all of us who care about orphans should realize: Not only does AIDS create orphans, but orphans are the most likely group to become HIV infected.  For example, 60 % of street kids, ages 15-25 years old, in St. Petersburg and nearly 54% of kids in Kiev are HIV positive.  We already know that there is a higher rate of crime, drug use and prostitution among those who age-out of the orphanages—and these are the same risk factors that lead to HIV infection.  When we start to take care of the orphan crisis, we will also be positively impacting the HIV/AID crisis.

One area most impacted by AIDS is Africa, so when I read that some people are “concerned” about the rate of adoption among children fromAfricabecause people are “trafficking” in adoption, I am truly amazed. Does anyone really think that people are stealing babies and children to sell them for adoption? Are there not enough babies and children already orphaned by AIDS and other diseases inAfrica? Are children left at police stations or with elderly grandmothers who can barely care for them, not truly orphans? Why do these children not deserve a stable home? Is it truly illegal for a judge to rule that this child deserves a family and gives guardianship for a child to a family so that the family can legally adopt the child? (more…)

Your internationally adopted child can suffer malnutrition before and after birth. The risk factors that negatively impact the child’s growth and development include alcohol exposure, poor maternal diet, and lack of maternal health care. In most instances you will receive little or no prenatal or early life history on your child.   And you may know little as to what your child was fed in the orphanage. Fortunately, however, there has been a marked improvement in the overall care children receive once in orphanages and this includes better diets.

While in an orphanage, your child may have received enough calories to fill their tummy, yet they may not have received the protein and micronutrients needed for optimal development. Such a calorie sufficient diet often consists of gruels or porridges made up of rice or other grains lacking sufficient protein, vitamins and minerals.

The food received in the first year of your child’s life is very important as brain development is affected by the level of protein and micronutrient the child receives. So even if your child was chubby and content, they may still have been malnourished. Although getting enough nutrients is required for optimal growth, some are more important than others, with iron being one of the most important nutrients. If a child does not get enough, it can affect cognitive development.

Once home, your child will most likely play catch-up. However, even if your child does show a nice growth spurt and tests negative for iron-deficiency anemia, all may not be well. First, if your child tests negative for anemia, they can still be iron deficient. Next, if they have a growth spurt, this could further exacerbate iron deficiency because the iron stores are not sufficient for the child’s increased blood volume. So a child who appears to be growing quickly and gaining weight may actually be suffering from iron-deficiency anemia.

Therefore, your child should be assessed for nutrient deficiencies at least twice in the first year home.  Also, your child should be checked for  intestinal parasites such as giardia. Such an infection can decrease the absorption of iron and other nutrients. This means that even if your child is getting enough iron in the diet, she may still be deficient because she is not absorbing it. (more…)

Christian Family Services and Bethany Christian Services are sponsoring a one-day workshop on Saturday, November 12, 2011 called “It’s NOT About Me! Raising Adolecents with Peace and Not Fear.” This is a workshop for families who adopted infants and young children who are now teenagers.

The cost is $20 per person, or $50 for a family of 3 or more.

More details and registration in this brochure (pdf).

Over the last couple weeks, there has been an extraordinary amount of flooding in Cambodia. One site recently affected is the Children’s Relief Center (CRC), an organization that Nightlight has partnered with in the past for humanitarian efforts and adoption. The flooding has come into the first story of a wooden house that’s part of the orphanage complex. The structure is holding up well, but there will likely be expenses related to damages. If you’d like to donate to help cover these costs, go to our Donate page, click on “Donate Online” and then select “Cambodia Aid” from the drop-down.

CRC, October 12, 2011

CRC, October 12, 2011

(Nightlight has donated funds to the CRC to assist with purchasing food during this time of unusually severe flooding.)

Laura Beauvais-Godwin, director of Nightlight Christian Adoption’s South Carolina office and leader of the Carolina Christian Alliance for Orphans, is helping coordinate Finding Families: 2011 Adoption and Foster Care Conference, to be held October 25, 2011.

Presenters include representatives from USCIS, SC DSS, US Department of State, various South Carolina adoption agencies, and the ABBA Fund, as well as attorney Raymond Godwin and special guest Ryan Dobson, son of James Dobson.

This one-day conference in Taylors, SC, is sponsored by United States Senator Jim DeMint and Carolina Christian Alliance for Orphans.

Free registration and more details at the event page.

The SPOON Foundation and JCICS have recently partnered to launch a website, Adoption Nutrition. It looks like a great resource, featuring, for example, a section with nutrition profiles for various countries where children are adopted from. Check it out.

The Cambodian government has announced its intention to resume international child placement as early as April 1, 2012. This means adoptions in Cambodia will not resume for U.S. Citizens or Non-U.S. Citizens before April 1, 2012. The U.S. has stated that specific safeguards and procedures must be in place before it will agree to allow U.S. Citizens to proceed with adoptions. If we receive any new updates on Cambodia’s adoption status, we will provide updates here.

It is our hope that under the new adoption system, Nightlight will be able to resume our Cambodia Adoption program.

About one-third of families who adopt internationally have smooth transitions; another third or so have some difficulties, but manage to work through these issues; and another third have serious and more pervasive problems. In these more difficult circumstances, even the best parents are often not prepared. Those families who are struggling need support, like every family—sometimes from friends and families and sometimes from experts.

To get some good advice from professionals and to hear the challenges other parents face, you may want to join Beyond Consequences live 10-session parenting course right in your own home. The first class is complimentary—so take a test drive.

This Free Test Drive will be on Thursday, August 25, 2011 at 9:15 p.m. EST.

Each of the 10 sessions following be on Thursday evenings and run for 90 minutes through November 3, 2011.

You and other parents can ask questions and discuss the specifics of your family situation with the professionals.

Click here to sign-up at no charge for this first class and see how it works on the Internet. (more…)

Three months ago and on the other side of the globe, a 2-year-old African orphan named Vivian died of bacterial meningitis. While the news might not seem so out of the ordinary considering the continent’s state of affairs, Vivian’s death was a blow to two local residents who had met and come to love the Ugandan toddler.

Temecula residents Kellie Falk and Courtney Atnip had traveled to Uganda last October to visit the orphanage where Vivian lived and deliver supplies and comfort to the toddler and others staying at the facility. There, they fell in love with little Vivian, Falk said.

(…finish reading at North County Times)

Thanks to all the runners that came out on June 11th for our 3rd Annual 5K. We felt that it was a very successful year and we have learned much for next year’s race. We had a total of 211 runners that came out in support of our 5K! Nightlight also raised $5,000 from our sponsors and registrants! Thank you to all of our runners, sponsors and 5K committee that made all this possible!

Race results and awards have been posted at It’s About Time. Many thanks to Tiffany Anne Photography for the lovely photos taken at the event — from start to finish! Here are three photos, ans you can view many of the photos at our 5k page.

Kate and Ben

The Nightlight team has been in Uganda for 3 days, and I am just now getting around to updating the blog. We have had 3 very busy days and last night, we had a black out in the evening. There are so many wonderful stories to share of God’s grace and love and, I’m certain there will be many more throughout the week.

We began work at the baby’s home on Monday by painting murals on the walls and turning the garage into an office. Everyone has worked very hard and the results are quite impressive. We have all grown more attached daily to the children at Tender Hearts. The children warmed up to us much faster this time as well. We are constantly humbled by their sweet faces and the love they show us which is so innocent and tender. Today, we gave the nannies the afternoon off and cared for the children under Cathy’s direction. We learned that the nannies are amazing women who accomplish much every day. By the time they returned, we were exhausted and the baby’s home was in disarray.

Our team is truly wonderful. Everyone has worked very hard and has shown the love of Christ to everyone we have met. We have had devotion each night and been unable to avoid tears each time. We are so blessed by the presence of the Lord each day.

Tomorrow we are going to survey the land where the future baby’s home will be built. We will also be visiting Vivian’s grave and will hold a mini memorial service. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for our team. We have been blessed by God’s favor and provision. We only lost two bags of luggage, and we should receive them tomorrow. Please pray for continued health for our team members and for our continued safety.

God Bless,

Lisa Prather

As most adoptive parents are aware, a secure attachment is key to a child’s healthy development. Attachment is defined as a child’s bond to a caregiver based on the caregiver’s sensitivity and attunement to the child. The healthiest and strongest attachments are formed within the context of family: for children, the parent-child (especially mother-child) relationship, and for adults, the husband-wife relationship. Without proper attachments being formed in the early stages of life through proper parental attunement, a child in almost all cases will experience negative emotional repercussions, including a lack of self-regulation and deep insecurity.[1] For these children, the issues are not just the difficult behavior now, but the problems they will take into adulthood. Adults with insecure attachments often have marital and other relationship problems and difficulty attaching to their own children. These offspring are then affected, and a negative cycle is perpetuated. In fact, 72% of 21-year-olds retain the same attachment style they developed as newborns.[2]

Because of the profound impact that the parents’ attachment style has on a child’s emotional well-being, we as adoptive parents need to understand our own attachment style if we are to help our children, especially those with difficult histories. First, if married, we need to look at how we understand and interact with our spouse.[3] A strong marriage can help enhance our personal ability to attach, enhancing our attachment to our children. Studies show that an increase in marital discord, as well as insecurity, can lead to less competent parenting.  In addition, more marital detachment produces higher levels of detachment in the parent-child relationship.[4] A healthy marriage appears to be the strongest predictor of proper attachment between parents and their children.[5] (more…)