Comments on: Attachment disorder and other scary things about adoption http://www.carolinahopeadoption.org/blog/archives/342 the blog of carolina hope christian adoption agency Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:20:02 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Mark Diebel http://www.carolinahopeadoption.org/blog/archives/342#comment-2207 Mark Diebel Sat, 09 Feb 2008 22:49:00 +0000 http://www.carolinahopeadoption.org/blog/archives/342#comment-2207 Speaking as an adoptee... it should and must be said that not only should one read what other adoptive parents have said and are writing... one should read what adoptees have said and are writing about their adoptions. Identity, history... how their relinquishments came about... was it peaceful? Was my mother coerced? How did her family feel about my being given over to some one they didn't know? What were they like? What was their society like and how did it feel about sending me and the other children like me into another country? The child always (god willing) grows up! And that child, now adult, will hold their parents, their society accountable for their histories and the choices that were made in their interests. It is more than joy that is set before every adopting parent.. it is responsibility... and an entrance into the mysteries of this existence and the depths of human life and suffering... into maturity... this in a way different than the path for a parent who gives birth... who also has to walk towards maturity. Adoption parenting must be more intentional and with greater preparation. There are resources available. Speaking as an adoptee… it should and must be said that not only should one read what other adoptive parents have said and are writing… one should read what adoptees have said and are writing about their adoptions.

Identity, history… how their relinquishments came about… was it peaceful? Was my mother coerced? How did her family feel about my being given over to some one they didn’t know? What were they like? What was their society like and how did it feel about sending me and the other children like me into another country?

The child always (god willing) grows up! And that child, now adult, will hold their parents, their society accountable for their histories and the choices that were made in their interests.

It is more than joy that is set before every adopting parent.. it is responsibility… and an entrance into the mysteries of this existence and the depths of human life and suffering… into maturity…

this in a way different than the path for a parent who gives birth… who also has to walk towards maturity. Adoption parenting must be more intentional and with greater preparation. There are resources available.

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