I’m glad to see that because that would surely color your lives with your children. As an adoptee myself, now about 52, transracial and transnational, married, with children (grown) and a pastor (getting a doctorate), having met my (original) mother and father’s family… that you have nothing to fear if your child wants to know his or her history. That should not threaten your relationship with them. Some (adoptive) parents get anxious about it.

It is normal and healthy to want to know one’s history. I think of the Bible. It begins with Genesis and proceeds with profound and important family stories. I think of Jesus, whose story also includes knowledge of “where he comes from.” It was common sense of the day to want or require such knowledge. The religious leaders in Jesus’ day were concerned about him because, they said, “we don’t know where he comes from”.

It is sometimes very difficult for people who grow up in the context of a family with stories of one’s birth, mirroring of one’s body and mannerisms, to understand what it’s like without these. One compensates; and one can survive. Sometimes, one compensates and lies to oneself and to one’s (adoptive) parents: I’m the same as these other children, adoption makes no difference. There is a difference and it is real and needs to be acknowledged. Some children and some adults need help acknowledging what they already know.

I hope that your children, who are learning from you, also teach you and bring you knowledge that you wouldn’t have had without them.