Saturday, May 7th, the day before Mother’s Day, is National Birthmother’s Day, a day to honor the millions of brave and loving women placed
their babies and children for adoption.
So how we can as adoptive parents honor our children’s birthmothers? It need not be very complicated. Just talking about the birthmother, sharing her name and celebrating the gift that she has given your family is one way to honor her.
I remember about 15 years ago, when my children were about five and eight years old, a friend in adoption made a video dedicated to birthmothers. The friend asked me and other adoptive families what were our children’s birthmother’s names so that she could put these names in the video. At the end of the videos, as the credits ran, the birthmothers were thanked and named. My children loved to watch the video and proudly shouted out the names of their birthmothers when the credits rolled. It was our way of honoring these women and reminding my daughters of the love their birthmothers had for them.
If you stay in regular communication with your child’s birthmother, you or your child can send a card as many do with our aunts, daughters, grandmothers, and any other mothers we know and love–even if they are not our mothers. Now that cards and notes can be sent via email, this can be a way for you and your child to send a loving message along with a few pictures to thank your child’s birthmother for choosing adoption.
So many children, whether adopted domestically or internationally, do not know how to contact their birthmothers—some do not even have her name. If you have no information about your child’s birthmother, honoring her on this special day can be a little more complicated, but it is important that in whatever way you can, you do so— It doesn’t have to be limited to a special holiday, but throughout the year. Continue reading »